It is Friday night and Jon is working here at home. The kids are sleeping. I should be sleeping since who knows what the night will bring. David has a cold and is restless. I hate it when little babies get sick. Lucas got sick two weeks ago and then Micah got it last weekend and now I suppose it's David's turn.
I don't really have anything to blog about. I always think of things late at night but forget by the morning. I am sleep deprived so that is why my mind is so wishy washy. My good friend Diana called me on Wednesday morning and asked how I was doing? "Am I surviving?" she asked. She's refering to how I am now home with all three kids by myself with Jon working late nights again. It was Wednesday morning and honestly the week had gone by great so far. It really didn't get bad until after school on Thursday (Valentine's day) when I decided I'd take the kids to this really cool outdoor mall here in L.A. My goal was to buy running shoes at the Nike store. But also let the kids play on the grass area and buy some french fries and watch the cool fountains that they have. Well, long story short, we made it to the Nike store and as I was trying on shoes the two saleswomen (my age) were entertaining Micah and Lucas. They were running crazy and yes I was annoyed but the two women were chasing them and playing games with them. About one minute before I was about to decide on the shoes Micah starts coughing and throws up. It was horrible. I quickly get him in the stroller and try to clean him up while the women are getting paper towels to help. I over hear one of them say to the other "And that's why I use birth control." I could not believe she said that. Does anyone else think that is an incredibly rude thing to say in the presence of a mother of three kids? I almost said something and told them off like I usually do. But this time I just shook my head and cleaned Micah up the best I could. I left the store obviously concerned about Micah hoping he didn't have a stomach bug (which he doesn't), but I was a little hurt by their comments. For a moment I actually did think to myself "what was I thinking purposely planning three kids so close in age?" I think this was Satan letting me have doubts about my choice of having a family. I don't know what I would do without my three boys. I can't imagine life without them. I don't really have a point to this story other than I came away from yesterdays experience knowing that I love my life with my kids. I would not change any of it.
One question if people want to respond. For those who live in big cities do you feel the negative feelings of having kids, especially having kids while being so young... 2 or more kids while still in your twenties? Same question for those living in suburbs? It seems like this part of L.A. where we live Jon and I are very much the minority of having children let alone three. Not only are we the minority but I can't tell you how often I get either the sympathy/annoyance look from people.
To finish this post I have to follow up with my answer to Diana's question on whether or not I'm surviving. Yes, I do believe I survived up until yesterday at 2 p.m., which at that point I think I sank to the very bottom. Thankfully, I have a husband who pulled me up to at least survival level again, you know the point in which your not drowning or swimming but dog paddling.
Today was a much better day:)
7 comments:
What a great post.
In answer to your question, for us it has been interesting going from the Upper West Side to Centerville. In NY, we were the only ones in our building our age with two kids. Here, in our "established" ward, we're still the only ones our age with two kids, because everyone else is older and has more children. I'm wondering if we'll ever fit in . . .
That stinks. I'm sorry that woman was so mean to you. Now you know how Julia Roberts' character felt in "Pretty Woman". :)
While Phil and I were in SF the other day we popped into a couple open houses for condos that were on the market. While we were there looking at things we couldn't afford the Realtor was asking questions about what we did. When she asked me what I did, I responded with the usual "I stay home with our two kids" and expected the standard "Oh" and not so subtle eye roll. Instead I was greeted with "Oh, what a luxury!" and she really seemed to mean it. It made me realize that yes, me being able to take care of my own children is a luxury that I sometimes take for granted. I'd be lying if I didn't say there were some days I question this "luxury", but those days are usually few and far between.
I'm sorry those woman were so insensitive. You're a great mom, and your boys are lucky to have you!
I got a lot of those comments in New York. Sometimes I question my choices concerning motherhood (I was only 24 when I had my second child), but one thing that has helped me is reading quotes from President Hinckley on motherhood, especially young mothers. He understood us and loved us for what we're doing, and he was grateful.
Wear your three children like a badge of honor! Those shallow saleswomen have no idea what joy they are missing out on. You will reap the rewards of having your kids close together as they grow older. They will be great friends and keep each other entertained. Now is the hardest part. It will get easier.
Your vomit story reminded me of the GC talk by Julie Beck titled "Mothers who Know." One of her points was that mothers who know are nurtures. She says -- Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. That lead me to an essay by Kristine Manwaring titled "My Home as a Temple." She says..."Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness." There was no hint that we should try to make our homes sacred like the temple. The sacredness is somehow already there...In the temple what we do with our hands is just as important as what we say with our lips. Certainly I show my love for my family with both my hands and my lips during the rituals of homemaking. I vocally tell my children I love them, but an understanding of the depth of my love comes when my hands clean up their vomit or gently scrub their backs or hang on to the seats of their bicycles or hold their hands as we cross the street.
So Deanna, there is nothing more sacred or more important than what you are doing now. You are an example to all those that associate with you, even snotty saleswomen. Again, march around LA with pride...the world needs MORE mothers like you!
I have had a few experiences like that, and all I can say is I pity the people who aren't willing to clean up throw up or wipe a bum or live on just a few hours sleep or spend a day at home holding a fussy baby. People like that woman in the store, who look at a woman tending 3 children, who don't feel a wave of compassion and gratitude for what you are doing must be living very miserable, insecure, and lonely lives. I'm proud of you for ignoring her comment.
DEANNA--I wanted you to rip into that saleswoman the way you did to that guy at the Brooklyn Target, remember that?? I'm sorry you had to experience that but you are a great mom and your boys are so lucky to have you :) I can't wait to come out and see David. BTW--every time I hear Mom say something like "David had a blow-out in his diaper" I have to consciously think, baby David, not Dad. :) I hope that makes you laugh :) Call me, I have tried calling you but I can't get through :)
We have family and friends in LA as well, and everyone is shocked that they have 3 kids and that they have no nanny. I think that it's just a common thing there. We live in mini Utah here and everyone else has as many or more than we do.
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